Once I had my third miscarriage, the idea of adoption started to come into mind. Luke and I were actively seeking Christ and praying about starting a family. We earnestly wanted to follow the Lord’s will for our family, so we were praying for wisdom and guidance as we waiting on infertility tests. Unexpectedly, I got pregnant the fourth time and the specialist wanted to monitor it very closely so we heard the heartbeat three times in three weeks, it was truly a battle between trusting the Lord and fighting off those negative thoughts the devil tries to put in your way. Sadly a month later I found out I had another miscarriage and they thought it was another partial molar miscarriage. That was truly the worst news I could have heard! I knew that was not normal for someone to have another partial molar miscarriage and that could not mean good things. Later on, our specialist shared with us that all our infertility tests came back normal, but the only troubling thing was that I had 2 partial molar miscarriages which are unheard of! So he did share with us that we have to question whether I have good eggs or not, which was so hard to hear. Later he told us that there was no way to test if I have all good eggs or not and that there is nothing that I could have done to prevent this, and that it stems from genetics. That was truly the hardest thing I have ever had to hear in my life, that there is nothing I did or that I can do and that it is completely out of my control. I am someone who does like to control things, like women do, so this really dug in deep. I was broken! From that point on, I knew through this journey I wanted to whole heartedly trust God through the pain and suffering.
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21
A couple months later Luke and I started praying about adoption and we felt in our hearts that it was something we needed to look into. It was very hard and scary, but we were ready to be open for the Lord to move in our hearts and submit to His will for our family. We were ready to put both feet in and trust God through this amazing, authentic, emotional journey that was completely out of our control. We started to live by faith and trusting God through this journey. One step at a time, God has proven faithful and has truly softened our hearts toward adoption! God continues to give peace to our hearts as we continue our amazing adoption journey!
“We live by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7
Even though adoption wasn’t our first plan, sometimes I think we don’t know what is best for our lives. Thank the Lord that he is ultimately in control of our lives. Even though adoption was our second option, we believe it might be God’s first option for our family. We feel honored that God has brought the gift of adoption in our lives and feel called by Him.
“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27
“As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it.” Genesis 9:7
“In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:5-6
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